Older And Wiser

Television today is a minefield of disgusting commercials.   Not just annoying.  I'm talking about commercials that make you lurch for the "mute" button.  We've reached a new low in American television as we navigate around commercials for things like this: 1. CATHETERS-- Yes, we interrupt this program to tell you about the best catheters on the market today... they're easy to insert-- self-lubricated-- and they come in three designer colors. 2. ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION-  This lovely woman has nothing to worry about.  Her beach vacation won't be ruined.   Why?  Because she's packed a little surprise for hubby.... the "travel size" Viagra.   3. LUBRICATED TOILET PAPER-  These cartoon bears have a problem... when they poop and then wipe their butts... the toilet paper get stuck.   What's the answer?   Charmin Ultra Strong toilet paper!   "Enjoy The Go!" Seriously?  On broadcast television??... commercials that specifically referen

Well, I think I've seen it....the first sign of the apocalypse.  The earth is truly spiraling toward the sun. I was in my local grocery store and saw something I could hardly believe. It was a piece of meat, steak I guess, one piece, and the price was $15.   I mean, it's just meat, people.    They really should put these behind glass just to be safe.   They should require you to a consult a credit  consultant to be sure you're financially qualified to purchase meat.    Buy 4 or more and security will escort you to your car.    I've decided.  I'm becoming a vegetarian. 

Paper towels make me crazy.  They're expensive, so I try hard to find the best buy when shopping.   But how can you tell which one is best?   I swear it takes a math/science wizard to calculate the best choice.   The cheap ones don't soak up as much,  so you have to use more.   The fancy ones cost more, but I probably waste them anyway.   These days,  I just try to buy the brand that's on sale, with the biggest discount.   Or... I'll examine the "unit price per square foot" sticker and pick the lowest price.   Still, I feel like these towel manufacturers are trying to trick me.  Whatever brand I schlep home, I'm pretty sure... I just got scammed.

I guess this someone's idea of great marketing.   I see this billboard every time I pass my local gas station, and each time,  I cringe.   It's intent, apparently, is to entice horny construction workers to buy work boots.   (She's showing how sturdy and durable they are.)  Do construction workers believe that when they go to the store to buy their boots, this girl will be there?    Or do they look at this billboard and think, "Wow, those boots look great on her.  Imagine how great they'll look on me!"    It's like waving a shiny object at a bird:  "Hey men, look over here.   I've got these boobs.   You want some shoes?"     Regardless, it's embarrassing to have it in my nice neighborhood, and it's embarrassing for the poor girl who lowered herself to pose for it.   Maybe someone told her it could be a stepping stone to something bigger... and maybe it will be.   Someday she could end up in the White House.